Shyster is a slang word for someone who acts in a disreputable, unethical, or unscrupulous way, especially in the practice of law.
Black’s Law Dictionary defines “shyster” as “one who carries on any business, especially a legal business, in a dishonest way. An unscrupulous practitioner who disgraces his profession by doing mean work, and resorts to sharp practice to do it.” Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines the “shyster” as “one who is professionally unscrupulous, especially in the practice of law or politics.” For the purposes of this website, a “shyster” is a dishonest attorney or politician, i.e., one who lies.
“His first duty is to the courts and the government, NOT to the client. And where ever the duties of his client conflict with those, he owes as an officer of the court in the administration of Justice, the former must yield to the latter.” Corpus Juris Secundum Vol. 7, Section 4.
Most lawyers are incompetent. It is not because they want to be incompetent. They study law. They try to be human. Some of them even worry about their mistakes. Some even grieve over the awful damage they cause to society.
But most lawyers still do not recognize their incompetence. That is because their incompetence begins not just as lawyers, but because:
ALL lawyers are inferior human beings.
75% of all the lawyers you will ever meet are below average in intelligence. This is proven by using Mendel’s Laws of Genetics and the following traits:
Common sense — Intelligence
The distribution of the lawyers is :
a. 25%: Have both common sense and intelligence b. 25%: Have no common sense with intelligence
c. 25%: Have common sense with no intelligence
d. 25%: Have no common sense and no intelligence
Therefore… chances are that 75% of the lawyers you meet are very stupid.
“Ours is a sick profession marked by incompetence, lack of training, misconduct and bad manners. Ineptness, bungling, malpractice, and bad ethics can be observed in court houses all over this country every day. (…these incompetents have) a seeming unawareness of the fundamental ethics of the profession. … the harsh truth is that … we may well be on our way to a society overrun by hordes of lawyers, hungry as locusts, and brigades of judges in numbers never before contemplated.” Chief Justice of the United States, Warren Burger
The legal process, because of its unbridled growth, has become a cancer which threatens the vitality of our forms of capitalism and democracy. Lawrence Silberman, U.S. Attorney General
The legal trade is nothing but a high class racket. – Law Professor Fred Rodell
I do not wish to speak ill of any man behind his back, but the fact is that he is an attorney. – Samuel Johnson
People say law, but they mean wealth. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
All sorts of substitute for wisdom are used by the world. When the court doesn’t know, they use precedent. The court that made the precedent guessed at it. Yesterday’s guess, grown gray and wearing a big wig becomes today’s justice. – Dr. Frank Crane
A judge is simply a malignant lawyer, and should be removed. – The Outlaws
A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself. – Lord Brougham
It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour. – Thomas Jefferson
He saw a lawyer killing a viper on a dunghill hard by his own stable; And the Devil smiled, for it put him in mind Of Cain and his brother Able. – Coleridge
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. – Jeremy Bentham
The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers. – Shakespeare, King Henry VI Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2
The virtuous need but few laws; for it is not the law which determines their actions, but their actions which determine the law. – Theophrastus
Where you find the laws most numerous, there you will find also the greatest injustice. – Arcesilaus
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. – Tacitus
“The law, sir, is a ass.” – Charles Dickens
“Most lawyers are as crooked as a dog’s hind leg.” – Grampa Province